Ask a different question to get a different result.
If you want a different result, you have to ask a different question. Learning how to ask myself good questions controls my attitude. Whenever I ask myself a bad question, I always get a negative outcome.
The wrong question produces the wrong attitude
This morning I had a bad attitude. Here’s what happened: I awoke early to write an important email before I flew back to Charlotte. For some reason I was having a technical challenge. (I’m sure you’ve been there!) I didn’t complete the task and rushed out to Boston Logan to catch my flight. Sitting at the airport I was irritable. I snapped at my wife and a couple of clients before I caught myself and realized something’s wrong. I was asking myself the wrong question! I asked, “Why is this so hard?” This question directed my thoughts to everything that was hard. I began thinking how hard my life was, when in fact, it’s amazing!
Change your question and you change your attitude
I have a great wife and family who love me! I work with goal-oriented clients and we deliver amazing results together. I work on fun projects where I create and deliver helpful content. I should have had a great attitude the entire morning, but I was focusing on the wrong question! Does this every happen to you? Do you focus on the wrong questions and let it affect your attitude? When I changed my question, my attitude completely changed!
Power Questions I’m asking myself:
- What can I do to support the team?
- What can I do to help out?
- What can I do to become a more effective listener?
- What can I do to improve the situation?
- What solution can I provide?
- What can I do to be more productive?
- How can I learn more about what the customer wants?
- How can I improve myself today?
- How can I be a better leader?
- How can I become more engaged?
- How can I show I care?
- How can I communicate more effectively?
- How can I be a better example?
- How can I excel in my work right now?
- How can I achieve with the resources I already have?
- How can I help move the project forward?
- How can I creatively reach my customer?
- How can I provide more value?
- How can I do my job better?
The right questions keep you out of The Drama Triangle
Did you notice, none of my questions began with why or when? Why or when questions take you into The Drama Triangle. Each question begins with, “What can I…” or “How can I…” These questions keep you in control of your life.